Ep.1: Zomgg I'm back!

[Helen]

"All of you are from the same season"

Uh, come again? LMAOOO, great. I didn't expect 5 of us to return. I'm going to be stuck with my former inbred baboons. Now, how do I act without making it seem too obvious that it's me again?

But, the important thing is that I'm back. That's right bitches. Last time I got royally screwed, and that bitter taste still lingers in my mouth. No more Mr. Nice Guy, k? I'm not going to be so soft again. So please everyone get the fuck out of my way, because menopausal Helen is out to do some damage.

[Helen]

Just my luck! UGHHHH. I'm probably stuck with the shittyest players from Mzst. survivor 4. Every other tribe seems to be active, while over here only Crystal and I have shown up. Inactive tribe = massive fail. I don't even know who Crystal could be, but I don't care about that (well actually I do sort of). If she's active enough, that's all that matter to me and I can strike an early alliance with her. Then I'd need one more player to secure the majority. Control is what I'm seeking on this tribe. I'm a power-hungry, lusting bitch! No fucking way am I settling for anything else.

I won't approach Crystal just yet, though. I'll see when the others show up so I can get a good sense of everyone.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS SHIT TO START!!

[Helen]

Ok...still no new members aside from Crystal. Ace has registered but hasn't posted yet .

I'm hoping that the challenges do not start soon! People like Sean and Teresa already have like 20 million posts, fcking post whores. They're respective tribes will rape us! If there's one thing that I'm highly superstitious about is losing the first challenge. Getting off to a losing start will only make the uphill battle harder.

Fuck, this is so frustrating.

[Helen]

So massive Crystal and I have sealed an alliance. Now it's a question of who we bring with us. Do we take suicidal Shane, or do we take Natalie and make an all-girls alliance?

Crystal will approach Shane first. We're hoping that Shane and Natalie have not made an alliance as of yet. I told Crystal NOT to mention anything about our alliance to Shane...that she should make it seem like her alliance with Shane will be her first.

If that fails, I'll work on Natalie and pull the "all-girls alliance" card.

But I'm hoping the Shane deal works because it will be a real benefit for me. Crystal is dumb enough to convince and she will be doing all my dirty work from now on. This way if anything were to go wrong, Crystal will be blamed for being too strategic too early and I would have nothing to do with it. Muahaha.

[Helen]

The first challenge is soon, and I'm kinda nervous to be honest. DO NOT WANT TO LOSE.

And Wtf @ this cast. There are soooooo many annoying twats! Teresa for one has to be one antisocial dumb bitch. I can't stand her! She makes me want to take my eyes out, so for the sake of my eyes, QUIT POSTING BITCH!

Also, I think I've kind of started out in a bad way (impression wise). I know there are a few who already hate me, but fuck them. Just to be safe, I've asked Eliza for a cross-tribe alliance. Waiting to hear from her.

[Helen]

Wow, nice move you pulled on us! Everything I worked on in the last few days = fail.

K, this changes EVERYTHING. Need to make new alliances and need to make them quick. I think Deena is ready for an alliance. I'm still driven by one thing, and that is gaining absolute control of my tribe without making it obvious.

Watch me do that.

[Helen]

It didn't take long for me to take control of my tribe. As soon as the new tribes were made, me, Deena and Judd made an alliance. After the challenge, Lil asked me for an alliance with her and Eliza. So I agreed. However, do I trust Lil or Eliza? Hellllll no! First of all, Eliza was a complete cockmongling C U N T before the tribes were made. Her, Teresa and Elisabeth annoyed the fuck out of me. Fuck I hate you n00b twats so very much. For that reason, I will never align with Eliza but I shall use her like a rag doll because she comes off as delusional piece of shit and is utterly clueless about the game.

Lil is also a massive retard. She was struggling during the challenge.

So now I have a secure alliance plus two additional morons in my pocket at my disposal.

I'm soooooooo going to set either Eliza or Lil for an epic blindside!

[Helen]

Eliza and Lil are lucky that we won and don't have to go to tribal council. But it sort of sucks that I have to put up with Eliza for a little bit longer...ugh. Crystal and I are still keeping in touch, giving one another inside info about our tribes. Hopefully she gets lucky on Exile Island, in which case I'd have to talk her into giving me an idol, just because I can and I will eventhough I don't need it.

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